A Son's Guilt
by charmed-sword
Summary: Fifteen year old Kenji is hiding more than just an injury from his parents. But why?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Watsuki-sama is rightful god of this universe.

**A Son's Guilt: Chapter One**

_He can't know. _One hand pressed firmly against his bleeding arm, Kenji staggered through the gates of the Kamiya dojo. _But he'll find out...No. I can't let him. _The world spun at alarming angles, blurring his vision and making him feel nauseous, but it was nothing compared to the panic.

The only thoughts he allowed himself to have were repeated over and over in his head, as though he were creating a tight cocoon. A safe place where he could assure himself that everything was just as they normally were.

_I won't tell him. It's not that serious._

All he had to think about was how the wound didn't matter. Not how it got there. Or why.

He tried to be careful as he approached the side entrance of the dojo, checking behind him to make sure his blood hadn't made it's way to the ground. His father might not be home at the moment, but Kenji knew what a keen eye Kenshin had. He would be sure to notice and ask how it got there.

Gritting his teeth against the pain, he finally made it to his room and slid the shoji shut behind him.

After removing his blue gi, and with his left hand still clamped against his wound, Kenji reached for the bandages in his desk drawer. Wiping away most of the blood around the cut, he quickly bandaged his arm as tight as he could. That's better, he thought with relief, wiping his fingers clean with the remaining bandages.

_It's just a cut..nothing serious. I don't have to tell him. It'll get better in no time._

Then gathering up the bloody gi and fabric, he shoved it into the last drawer of his desk, deciding to get rid of it later. For now, he had to make something for dinner. His parents would be back soon, and they wouldn't be pleased to find he had neglected what he had promised to do.

_Because I never let him down...It would be shameful for his son to be anything less than he is._

Ignoring the throbbing ache in his arm, and the guilt rising in his heart, Kenji made for the kitchen.

o-o-o-o

"Fight, there's been a fight!"

Kenshin frowned as he reached out with an arm to shield his wife from the group of men that rushed past excitedly.

"At the bakery, there was a fight!"' a fellow turned to exclaim at the curious onlookers, before disappearing round the corner. Kenshin's frown deepened, but it was one of concern. Kaoru adjusted the shawl around her shoulders, then turned to him with a worried look.

"Anata..."

"Yes." Kenshin replied, glancing in the direction the group had run towards. "No doubt the same place Kenji works at. It is the only foreign bakery in town after all."

"Do you think he's alright?" Kaoru asked, looking anxious.

Kenshin smiled at her. "I'm sure he is fine. Knowing him, Kenji has done his best to avoid any damage being done, either to the place, or the people involved."

Kaoru visibly relaxed, picking up her bags again. "Of course he would. But still...it seems odd for someone to have had a fight at a bakery...over what? The last few pieces of a cake?"

Kenshin looked amused. "Well if it were serious, the police would be storming in that direction by now. And Kenji should be home, his shift finished half an hour ago, that it did. He is making dinner tonight, remember?"

"Yes, I forgot! Well let's be on our way then, I'm intrigued to see what he's prepared."

"And what he's burned down?" added Kenshin jokingly.

"Of course not," answered Kaoru with a smile. "Don't confuse him with me."

o-o-o-o

Kenji poked at his dinner nervously. He was definitely hungry, but eating involved using chopsticks.

Unfortunately, this task seemed near impossible, as his injury had only worsened since he got home. Asides from the throbbing, his arm had become strangely stiff, and a shooting pain ran through it whenever he raised his hand. He would have scoffed ordinarily, as the cut was in his upper arm, and shouldn't be able to affect his fingers. But he felt it there, too.

_I feel dizzy as well...this is strange...How am I going to get through dinner? _he thought, half panicked_. It's a good thing I'm able to cloak my ki..._

"Kenji?"

The fifteen year old jumped, nearly upsetting his bowl of soup. His parents stared at him.

"Yes, Otou-san?" Kenji replied weakly.

A faint line appeared between Kenshin's brow as he exchanged a quick look with his wife. "Are you sure you're alright? You look pale."

Kaoru chewed her food slowly as she observed her son. Kenshin was right, Kenji had looked unwell the moment they arrived home. He wasn't his usual cheery self, and hadn't said more than a few sentences since dinner started. She frowned. Was that sweat beading on his forehead?

"Your father's right Kenji. If you're sick, you know you should tell us. Megumi-san will be with us for a while, it's no trouble for you to visit her."

"I'm fine, Okaa-san. Just a little shaken by what happened at the bakery, that's all."

Kenshin nodded.

_Ah, that's why he's cloaking his ki. Perhaps he felt more anxiety than he wants to let on._

"I can understand that," Kenshin commented. "But you didn't tell us what happened."

Kenji looked up to see his parents watching him expectantly.

"It was just thieves, looking for money." he muttered. "They had swords...Kadoma and Masaki were with me, and we... managed to fend them off. That's.. all really."

"I heard a few of them were killed," Kaoru commented as she reached for another helping. "One of those men were shouting about it, weren't they Kenshin? They'll have all the details in the paper tomorrow, although you can't always trust them to be accurate, _unless _the police comment."

She looked thoughtful. "I know it was self defence, but how difficult it would be, being the mother of the one who delivered the killing blow. Was it Kadoma? He always was very boisterous. And didn't you say he keeps a wakizashi with him at the back of the shop?" She laughed. "The one he calls 'Pig'?"

There was a loud clatter as Kenji's chopsticks fell from his hand.

A momentary silence followed. Kenshin looked at the chopsticks then at Kenji, who had stood up abruptly, his face visibly paler.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "...I'm just tired. It was a lot for me to take in, what happened today. May I be excused?"

"Yes, Kenji," Kenshin replied quietly.

He exchanged a worried look with Kaoru.

_I should talk with him tomorrow... I'll just have to accept that he needs to be alone right now._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Watsuki-sama is still rightful god of this universe.

**A Son's Guilt Chapter Two**

"Masaki? What is it?"

Kenji looked up distractedly from the packages of foreign cakes he was sorting in the back room. The ready smile died on his face.

His friend looked whiter than he'd ever seen him, and his eyes were wide with fear. This was not an emotion the usually bumbly and comical Masaki would allow himself to show. Immediately Kenji tensed.

"What's wrong?" Then he heard a crash, and the thud of something hard as it hit the ground. Loud and sneering voices drifted through the doorway from the front of the shop.

"Kenji..." Masaki whispered, trembling. "There's a bunch of them...they have Kadoma..."

But the teen had no time to continue, for a swift punch to the back of his head had him fall to the floor, limp and unconscious. Kenji watched in horror as blood trickled down the back of his friend's head. It was then he realised that Masaki's attacker, a lean and bearded man, had several kunai between his fingers.

"Masaki..." he whispered, dropping to his knees beside his friend, his own face pale, as he pressed his fingers to the boy's throat, praying for a pulse.

"So this one must be Kadoma then."

A short and stocky man joined the bearded one in the doorway, leering as he tightened his grip on the frightened Kadoma's hair, a blade held against his throat.

"Just do as he says, Kenji!" the younger boy shouted desperately. "Just let them take the goddam money!"

Kenji got up slowly, relieved that Masaki had not been as badly harmed as he first thought. But they have Kadoma and my reverse blade is in the other room... he thought, heart sinking. The bearded figure menacingly stepped towards him and grabbed him by the collar of his gi.

"You heard your little friend," he growled, shaking him. "Give us all the money you have here, we know how rich this place is."

"And what if I don't?" Kenji asked defiantly, his voice shaking with anger. "What if I challenge you to a duel?"

The shorter man grinned. "Then I kill the brat here."

o-o-o-o

With a gasp, Kenji opened his eyes.

Waiting until the blurry ceiling came into focus, and ignoring the throbbing ache in his head, he slowly and carefully sat up. A shooting pain immediately ran down his arm and he winced.

Still not better, he thought hazily, looking down and grimacing at the blood that had soaked through his yukata.

_I'll need to change the bandages again. Funny, I can't believe it's still bleeding, I used so many bandages to tie it up..._

He looked out the window, relieved to see it was still very early morning.

_Otou-san and Okaa-san should still be asleep_, he thought, a faint smile gracing his lips as he thought of his father and his set time for washing the laundry every day. But the image of his father's honest and smiling face caused something inside him to constrict and he quickly shoved away the thought.

_I still have an hour...I should probably wash my gi from yesterday..._

Kenji pulled away the covers, ignoring the sluggish feeling in his wounded arm. Then, just as he was about to hoist himself up, he heard something and froze instantly. Was that...? It was. He listened again and realised with sudden fear, that someone was knocking softly on his door.

"Kenji? May I come in?"

Panic trickled into the teenager's mind and frantically he tried to think of a way to prevent his father from entering.

_I could pretend I'm asleep...but no that wouldn't work! It must be later than I thought, if he would wake me up...they must both be up..._Kenji blinked, shaking away the fuzziness at the edge of his vision and squinting out the window again. _That's funny, I don't usually miscalculate..._

A louder knock this time. "Kenji?" came the voice again, laced with distinctive concern.

Quickly, he drew the covers around him, hiding his wounded arm. "Yeah, I'm awake," he called out.

Kenshin slid open the door and entered, smiling warmly. "Good morning."

"Morning."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Kenji answered hurriedly, blinking again to clear his dizziness.

"I was thinking maybe the two of us should go for a walk. Some fresh air would do you good, that it would. You still look pale..."

Kenshin studied him closely. _I had hoped a good night's sleep would help him...but it looks like he didn't sleep at all. _

"Well, Kenji, what do you think?"

_It's so hot,_ the boy thought oddly as he squinted at his father, his skin feeling as though it were burning. _When did it get so hot?_

"Kenji?"

"Uh, yep, sure, that sounds good..."

He trailed off uncertainly. Kenshin was frowning at him.

"Is everything alright Otou-san?" Kenji tried very hard to both keep the anxiety out of his voice, and ignore his heated skin.

_Why is he staring at me like that? _

"Otou-san?"

"You're wounded." Kenshin said flatly.

Kenji closed his eyes against the anger he saw flash across his father's face.

"How did you know?" he whispered, knowing any effort to hide the injury was futile now.

Kenshin stared at him with those unfathomable eyes. "You look unwell, and not just because you didn't get any sleep. You're sweating, your eyes are clouded, you're unnaturally pale, most likely you have a wound that has become infected. And also," he paused and his tone was suddenly bitter. "I can smell the blood. It's most likely gone through your bandages."

Kenji closed his eyes again, and not because his vision was still fuzzy. _This wasn't supposed to happen...how could I have been so careless..._

"Otou-san, I'm sorry, I-"

"Show me the wound."

Flinching at the sudden harshness in the man's voice, Kenji obliged. He lowered the covers and slipped off the sleeve of his yukata. Warm blood was still seeping from under the fully stained dressings. His father gasped.

Kenji swallowed. "Do you want me to change the bandages? I have some spare ones in the---"

"Be quiet!" Kenshin snapped, his eyes hard. "Kenji, do you have any idea what you've done? You need medical treatment right away!"

"But it's just a small cut, I didn't think---"

"You fool!" Kenshin shouted, his voice filled with uncharacteristic fury.

Kenji looked taken aback. But before he could fully acknowledge the hurt this made him feel, his vision began to blur, and his eyes swarmed with fuzziness again.

"Otou-san,' he whispered weakly. "I feel...funny..."

"Don't talk. I'm taking you to the doctors right away. You need to save your strength."

Ignoring Kenji's feeble protests, Kenshin picked him up.Careful not to hurt his arm, he quickly made for the clinic, praying he was not already too late.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Watsuki.

**A Son's Guilt: Chapter Three**

"I will give you the money then," Kenji answered quietly. "Just don't harm my friend."

"Right," the shorter man sneered. "Well get going. And don't even think about trying to call for the police. We've boarded up the doors so it can't be opened from the outside. Said this place is temporarily closed."

"Just don't harm my friend," Kenji repeated, heading to the front with the bearded man's sword prodding his back. His heart sank. _There's two more of them...they're guarding the entrance...this makes it harder..._

"What's taking you so long?"

"Nothing," Kenji said hurriedly, taking out the money boxes. The taller man grabbed several greedily.

_Now where did I put it...my reverse blade...it should be here behind the counter..._

"Look, Daisuke, this place is just as filthy rich as the others. It was a good idea to come here."

Daisuke, still holding his blade against the whimpering Kadoma's neck, was smirking at Kenji. "Are you looking for your useless sword boy?"

Kenji spun around. "What?" he demanded, his anger rising. "You have my sakabatou?"

Daisuke snickered. "Do you think we're novices at this or something?" He pointed to his waist, and with a jolt, Kenji realised the second sword hanging there was his own.

"I'll be taking this piece of junk," he jeered. "I don't think you should miss it all that much. I know it's worthlessness matches the one who originally carried it."

Kenji stared at the man.

"Oh yeah. We've heard all about your demented daddy. All that no-killing crap. About the only person known for carrying a sword like this, and a real idiot if you ask me!"

Kenji drew back his fist and punched the man square in his face. 'Don't ever disrespect my father again!' Daisuke was knocked to the ground, and Kadoma was sent reeling backwards. But before he could make a dash for it, he was kicked in the head and grabbed by one of the other men.

The bearded man looked amused. He snickered. "You let the kid hurt you. Tsk tsk Daisuke."

When Daisuke got back to his feet, he was practically livid. "You're sure as hell gonna pay for that!" he roared, drawing his sword. Kenji, temporarily satisfied that he'd broken the man's nose, suddenly felt very diminished.

_You idiot! Letting your temper get the better of you...now look what you've done!_

"Killing men is a pastime of mine. Getting rid of a kid like you will be pretty easy. And then after I kill you, I'll kill the others. You can die knowing it was all your fault. All for a dumb sword and your idiot dad."

_No! _Kenji's mind whirled frantically as Daisuke raised his sword, preparing to strike. His eyes darted from man to man, until they all became a blur. _I'm helpless to do anything...how could I have been so stupid...!_

Then suddenly, Kadoma shouted his name.

"Kenji!" he called weakly. "Pig! The painted boxes! It's still there!"

"Huh?" Daisuke uttered, turning to Kadoma.

But Kenji understood perfectly. And in that split second, it suddenly hit him what he had to do. His face paled but his resolve was strong. _These men don't look like they'd care if we died...I don't care about me..but if I die, then I can't save the others..._

Kenji swallowed, nodding slightly at Kadoma.

_Otou-san...I'm sorry. _

o-o-o-o

"He might feel a bit weak and drowsy, but these are normal symptoms of the antidote. They should wear off by tomorrow morning."

Kaoru nodded with great relief, squeezing her son's hand, reassured by it's warmth. Her face was drawn, and it was clear she had spent the last hour in a heightened state of anxiety. Her shoulders were still trembling.

Megumi smiled faintly as she soaked a cloth in water and placed it on Kenji's forehead. "I'm glad I came back from Aizu," she said softly, glancing at Kenshin, who was sitting on Kenji's other side, looking lost in thought. "I can't say I'm too proud of my knowledge of drugs, but it's something else when I can use it to save a life."

Kaoru brushed back Kenji's matted locks, feeling comforted by the rise and fall of his chest. _I could have lost him..._Instinctively, she kissed his cheek, her eyes becoming teary again.

"We can't thank you enough Megumi-san," she whispered. Her gaze fell on Kenji's bandaged arm. "And his wound is not at risk of infection anymore?"

"Definitely not. I've cleaned and stitched it to the best of my ability, and the antidote would render any traces of poison harmless. As long as he doesn't over exert himself, it should heal normally." Megumi glanced at Kenshin, but he was still staring into space. Deciding that this might be a moment to leave the family alone together, she got up to leave.

"If there's anything else I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you Megumi-dono."

Kaoru bowed her head in gratitude as the older woman left the room. Then she worriedly turned to her husband. "Kenshin? That's the first sentence you've spoken since you came in here. What's wrong?" _Other than the obvious fact that our son was badly wounded, and didn't let us know..._

She tried again. "Kenji-chan will be alright. That's the most important thing isn't it?"

_Kenji has never hidden anything from him before..._

Kenshin looked up at her finally, forcing a smile. "Hai," he said softly. 'Of course it is."

o-o-o-o

It was proving to be another busy day at the Tokyo police station. This had been the case ever since the rising rate of robberies on shops selling foreign goods. One interrogation room currently held three people. Two of them were boys, no older than fourteen or fifteen, who were seated in front of the office desk, and looked very scared. The other was a tall, wolfish looking police officer who looked bored, as though this was something he dealt with on a regular basis. Ever since he stepped down from the Inspector position--- which his wife kept complaining about anyway, saying he didn't spend enough time with his family--- it seemed this was all he ever dealt with-- Foolish teenage boys.

"Now then." said Hajime Saitou as he exhaled another ring of smoke. "Are you going to tell me what really happened or are we going to have a problem?"

Masaki shifted nervously, glancing at Kadoma, who just gave him a look and went back to staring coolly at the police officer.

Saitou leaned forward, knitting his fingers. "Three men are dead." he said dangerously. "And their leader is not known for his friendliness. He won't just let this slip by him. For your own sake and your families sake, I need to know exactly what happened. Now, you say it was your wakizashi that slew those men, correct?"

"Yes sir." Kadoma replied confidently. "That's my sword Pig sir."

This earned a giggle from Masaki, who promptly shut up when Saitou looked at him.

The officer regarded Kadoma for a moment, puffing away on his beloved nicotine. It was the only thing keeping him from straight out throttling them. He may have a few more white hairs now, but getting older had definitely not put a lid on his more violent urges.

"And you boy, were knocked out, while he was busy employing the use of his _Pig_." He smirked. "And what a fitting name for a sword that belongs to a boy like you, Kadoma.'

The boy resisted the urge to scowl. God, he hated cops.

"Y-yes sir, I was knocked out," Masaki managed to answer.

"Alright. I don't have a problem with believing that." His lip curled as he observed the chubby boy. "But I'll tell you the part that really confuses me." He looked at Kadoma. "About the _other_ boy also being unconscious the whole time, and _you_ managing to cut all four men with one stroke of the sword." He raised an eyebrow.

Kadoma looked surprised. _How did he..?_

Saitou smirked. "It's very easy for someone like me to be able to determine what sword techniques were used through the examination of the bodies."

The boys were silent, until Saitou sighed irritably and stood. 'Well there's only one way to find out."

"Find out what sir?" Kadoma asked suspiciously, not liking how the conversation was going.

"Find out whether you're telling the truth or not, gaki," Saitou responded with a feral grin as he drew his sword.

The boys gasped.

In one fluid moment, Saitou had picked up the blood stained wakizashi and threw it at Kadoma, who barely managed to catch it out of shock.

"I want you to fight me like you fought those men."

"B-but sir!"

"Not so cocky now, are you?" Saitou snickered. " Don't worry. You won't be able to hurt me."

Kadoma stood motionless. _That's not what I meant..!_

"Hurry up and attack!" the officer barked.

Less than a minute later the black haired youth was lying panting on the floor as Saitou sheathed his sword with a satisfied smile.

"You didn't kill those men," he concluded smoothly as the boy struggled to get to his feet.

He came over to Kadoma's side and leaned in until they were face to face. The teen gulped.

_Guess this didn't work after all...now Mr Himura's going to know...kuso...!_

"Admirable of you to cover for your friend," Saitou whispered. 'Though it seems odd that you would, considering your reason for the deaths is self defence. I suggest you never lie to a police officer again if you know what's good for you." His eyes narrowed. "You're lucky. I would not have been so forgiving had this happened ten years earlier."

"Y-yes sir!" they chorused in relief.

_Sorry Kenji..._

"Now get out of my office. You can wait in the main room until I come back with the other boy."

Saitou watched as they quickly exited the room. He snorted. A gleam entered his eyes as he walked towards the reverse blade propped in the corner.

_Well well,_ he thought to himself as he reached for it. _Looks like I'm going to have to pay a visit to the home of one Kenji Himura..._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Watsuki-sama is god of this universe. I am just a blip on the radar screen.

**A Sons Guilt: Chapter Four**

Kenji stood motionless in the middle of a place that had never before seemed so frightening.

The room swirled around him in alarming hues of gray and red as he stared at the figure in front of him, who shouldn't have been standing, much less still living. The man's comrades were collapsed at his feet like rag dolls, their bodies cold and lifeless.

"You will regret this!" the robber hissed, clutching the wound in his stomach. He gave Kenji a venomous glare, slashed at the entrance, and swiftly disappeared into the throng of people; so fast it seemed like magic. Kadoma frowned as he glanced after him.

_Ninja skills as well..? That man couldn't have been an ordinary robber..._

Kenji trembled, the sword gripped so tightly in his hand, his knuckles were white. Then he doubled over, grimacing as blood seeped from between the fingers he held over his injury.

"Kenji!"

The redhead's eyes seemed glazed, as though he were elsewhere. He blinked as Kadoma repeated his name, then looked down at his wound with almost mild surprise. "I'm cut..."

His friend grabbed the wakizashi from his hands. "Just go home!" he shouted.

Kadoma had once managed to slay a man who had attacked his home and threatened to kill him, a frequent occurence in the neighbourhood he lived in. He wasn't as affected by what just transpired. But Kenji on the other hand..."I've dealt with this before, you haven't. Just go! I'll say I did it, it's not a big deal."

"No.." Kenji mumbled, looking dazed. "No, it was me..."

"Go before the crowds gather, and before your Otou-san gets home, you idiot!"

"Home," Kenji whispered faintly. "Otou-san..."

His eyes widened as he stared at the three men on the floor. He looked down at the front of his stained gi, stained with blood that was not his. "No.."

His stomach heaved. The smell of blood overwhelmed his senses, and it both sickened and horrified him. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He wondered idly if he would ever be able to breathe again, without smelling that sickly sweet stench, without always remembering the three men he had gutted like fish...

o-o-o-o

"No!" Kenji bolted upright in his futon, his breathing heavy, his eyes wild with panic.

Then slowly, as his heart rate returned to normal, he lay down again, breathing deeply. The clean air, smelling slightly of herbs, was both reassuring and comforting. He blinked rapidly, turned and noticed the person beside him.

"Otou-san..." He sat up again, confused. "Where am I...?"

Kenshin seemed troubled, but his voice gave away nothing. "You're in the clinic," he answered. "Megumi-dono took care of your wound."

"My wound..."

Kenji glanced at his arm. It came back to him then and he flushed. He stared hard at his hands for a moment, uncomfortable, not knowing what to say.

Kenshin stood abruptly. "How do you feel?"

"...Better. Thank you."

"You nearly died."

Kenji swallowed. The hard look in Kenshin's eyes indicated he had not yet forgiven him for hiding his injury. _I know I shouldn't have...but there are things far worse than that. Far worse..._

"You told me you didn't think it was serious, when it was obvious that it was."

Kenji remained silent. Kenshin looked like he was trying to reign in his frustration. He folded his arms.

"We need to talk."

"I have to go..."

His father frowned. "Go where?"

Kenji pushed back the covers and stood, a little shakily. "For a walk... I promise I'll talk to you when I come back. Please." He looked at him with pleading eyes.

_I have to find Kadoma and Masaki..._

Kenshin sighed. "Running away from what happened isn't going to change the fact that it did," he said softly. "Recovery from a bad experience can only happen through acceptance. Pretending your wound wasn't that serious didn't change the fact that it was. You've never hidden anything from us before. You must have had a strong reason."

Kenji swallowed.

_He must know! But..he can't. If he did, he wouldn't be so calm... _He shivered. That was not a thought he wanted in his head. He couldn't imagine how his father would react to such news.

"It's only natural that you'd be affected by what happened. I was thinking about this while you were asleep, that I was. I now understand why you hid your injury."

"What do you mean..."

"You see, when that thief slashed you across the arm, he intended to cut through it. He intended to cut through you."

Kenji closed his eyes briefly. _I don't want to be reminded..I don't want to remember...I won't!_

"You must have attacked him in the nick of time. To prevent the blade from going all the way. It would have been something that required great speed... I understand why you would be shaken from such an experience."

"You have no idea," Kenji whispered, almost to himself.

Kenshin gave him a tight smile. "I think, perhaps I do."

The teen stared at him, furrowing his brow in confusion. Kenshin's gaze seemed distant. When he spoke again his voice held a tinge of sadness. "Kenji, I've told you about my childhood, when I was rescued from the bandits..."

"Yes..." Kenji's eyebrows knitted together. _What has that got to do with anything? _

"...There is something regarding my youth I have never told you, because I have never come across a suitable time. It was one of my greatest fears. When you were a baby, I often thought of how I would tell you." He held up his hand, and gazed at it, looking distant and a little sad. '"Of how I would tell my son the history behind these hands."

"I don't understand..."

"We'll go back to the dojo where you can get some fresh clothes. Then I'll accompany you on your walk, and explain it to you."

Kenji nodded. "Okay," he said, both interested and apprehensive.

o-o-o-o

Saitou dropped his cigarette and ground it into the dirt path, before opening the gates to the Himura home. Just as he was making his way to the entrance of the dojo, he turned to see Kenshin and his son approaching. A satisfied smile played on his lips as he waited for them, his sharp gaze falling upon the stiffness of Kenji's arm movement.

_Ah..so he's wounded. I wonder if he has lied to his father about what happened. He must have, if he told his friends to cover for him._ For a moment Saitou almost felt sorry for the boy, knowing all too well what his father's strongest beliefs were. _Almost._

Kenshin frowned as he noticed the police officer. Though he no longer held a grudge against the ex Shinsengumi captain, his presence usually meant bad news.

"Saitou-san. Is something wrong?"

Kenji froze. His eyes locked with the the officer's. There was a gleam in the man's amber eyes.

"M-mister Fujita..." he whispered.

"I need to talk to your son. About what happened yesterday afternoon."

Kenshin gave him a questioning look. "I'm surprised an officer of your ranking would be handling such a case. Is there something more to this that I should know?"

Saitou looked amused. "Still as acute as always." His eyes hardened.

"To answer your question, yes. It's probably better for both you and Kenji to know. You see, it seems the recent robberies are no coincidence. We have discovered they are all linked to one man, a former Oniwabanshu spy by the name of Akura Yamanato."

Kenshin digested this slowly, a faint line appearing in his forehead. Kenji tried to look calm but his own thoughts were racing. _A former Oniwaban spy?_

Saitou lowered his voice a little. "We have reason to believe Yamanato is ultimately planning to attack the government. He has a deep hatred of foreigners and the Western nations. This is presumably why he has been hiring men to carry out the robberies. But it is also appears he is doing it to distract the police from his more important plans."

"Wait. How does my son fit into all this?"

Saitou raised an eyebrow.

"He hasn't told you what happened?"

Kenshin's brow furrowed as Kenji's heart rate increased. _Is he going to tell Otou-san, just like that? But he can't! Not this way...not from Saitou!_

"He was injured," his father started slowly. 'It's clear that he fought these robbers."

Saitou smirked. "Ah. But with what?"

It was Kenshin's turn to raise an eyebrow. "With his sakabatou I expect."

"You mean this one?"

Kenji's eyes widened as Saitou held out his coat and withdrew the sword from his belt.

_I forgot that I left it behind...I wasn't going to take it off that man...I thought Kadoma would..._

"I found this attached to the waist of one of the dead men."

Kenji's heart was pounding so hard now, it seemed to drown out Saitou's voice. It was pounding so hard he thought his chest would break. Kenshin however, seemed oblivious to the panic written all over his son's face. He didn't so much as glance at him as he moved closer towards his old rival.

"Saitou-san," he said quietly, his heart refusing to believe what his mind already had. "I want you to explain to me what you mean by that statement."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Watsuki.

**A Son's Guilt: Chapter Five**

_No!_ a voice silently screamed in Kenji's head.

He could feel something getting heavier in his stomach, and added to that his knees were trembling and wouldn't stop. At any other instance, he would have felt shamed by such a cowardly reaction, especially towards his own father. Right now though, all he could think about was what would happen if Kenshin found out the truth.

If he, who had taught him so dearly of how sacred all life is, found out that Kenji had gone against everything taught to him. Everything Kenshin stood for. Everything...

_---9 years earlier---_

"Tou-san!" Kenji cried as he stepped back from his futon, nearly tripping over his feet in his fright. "Tou-san!"

The six year old trembled as he watched the object of his fear dart across his blanket, and disappear under his pillow.

There was the urgent thudding of footsteps against the floorboards as Kenshin made his way towards his son's room. He quickly slid open the shoji, his eyes alertly scanning the place for any sign of a threat to Kenji. What he found made his eyebrows knit together in confusion. He blinked.

"Kenji-chan, what's wrong?"

The child stood frozen, watching his futon with a terrified expression. Kenshin sighed inwardly as he looked behind him, hoping the cry hadn't woken Kaoru. She had gone to sleep earlier than both of them, having complained of a headache in the afternoon.

"Kenji-chan?"

Kenshin kneeled down in front of the boy. "Is something wrong with your futon?"

Kenji whimpered, his eyes still fixed on his pillow. He raised a hand slowly and pointed. Kenshin squinted at the pillow, wondering what on earth was wrong, then he realised. His son watched in confusion as a huge smile appeared on his face.

"...Tou-san?"

"Kenji-chan, that is only a grasshopper. It can't harm you, that it can't."

Kenji took a step backwards nonetheless. "But it looks scary. And it's on my futon." He looked up at his father with big blue eyes. "Can you kill it, Tou-san?"

Kenshin paused, as though considering his son's request. He stood up. "Why, Kenji?"

The expression on the boy's face suggested that it was pretty obvious why. But Kenji decided to answer him, just in case his father had misunderstood. His friend Masaki had told him that sometimes Tou-san's couldn't understand things properly because they were getting old. And Masaki was a whole year older than him, so Kenji figured he was pretty knowledgeable about these things. (He had ignored Kadoma's advice that fathers were just dumb. Kadoma _was_ younger than him after all.)

"Because it's scary, that's why."

Kenshin thoughtfully stroked his chin. "I see. I should kill the grasshopper because you don't like the way it looks."

Kenji chewed his lip uncertainly. "Um..." For some reason he was starting to feel a little bad. He shifted uncomfortably.

"You know this scar on Tou-san's face?" Kenshin touched the puckered flesh on his left cheek. "I know a lot of people find it scary. Do you think they should be allowed to kill me because of that?"

The boy's eyes widened. "No!" He protectively hugged his father's hakama clad leg. "Your scar's not scary!"

Kenshin smiled as he patted his son's head. "But to some people it is. Just like how this grasshopper is scary to you, but not to me."

The boy scratched his hair, a habit he picked up from Kenshin. He only ever did it when he was embarrassed, or confused. And he sure was now.

"But Tou-san...it's just a bug."

"Ah." Kenshin folded his arms. "So just because it's smaller than you and me, it doesn't deserve to live?"

Kenji glanced at the insect again. It was still on his pillow but wasn't moving. For a moment the boy wondered if it could understand what they were talking about. He swallowed nervously.

"I didn't mean that..."

Kenshin ruffled his hair fondly. "I know. Sometimes it's easy to forget that insects too, are alive just like us. That they breathe and eat and sleep just like we do. It doesn't matter how small or scary they look, that it doesn't. They share this world with us, and they have a right to live in it. Don't you agree?"

Kenji nodded his head slowly. He was beginning to feel sorry for the creature now. He didn' t realise it was so much like him...He glanced at the bug again. His father said it slept just like they did. The boy wondered if it was the grasshopper's bedtime, and that was the reason he had come to Kenji's futon. But insects were supposed to live outdoors, not indoors. He wondered if it was lost. Kenji shuddered involuntarily. It was still scary though. He tightened his grip on his father's hakama.

"What if it bites me?"

"Well, grasshoppers don't actually bite. They are quite harmless. But if it were a spider, or a snake, which can really hurt you, it would be a different story."

'Then you can kill it?'

"No, Kenji-chan. Then we try very hard to get it to where it belongs in a way that doesn't hurt us or them."

Kenji nodded slowly. So his father was going to take the insect to where it belonged. So it was lost after all. He felt guilty now for suggesting they kill it.

Kenshin noticed his expression. "Don't worry. When I only a little bigger than you, the very same thing happened to me, and I asked my Shishou to kill the bug as well. And he explained to me what I just explained to you."

"Ojisan," Kenji murmured.

"Yep." His father smiled. "Except he also mentioned that I should stop being such a wimpy cry baby, that he did."

Kenji giggled. Kenshin stepped towards the insect. "So what do you say we take this insect outside on the grass, where it belongs?"

"Okay Tou-san!" the boy answered, feeling better. As Kenshin went to get a tin with holes in it to safely catch the insect, Kenji wondered if Masaki also knew that bugs and other creatures shouldn't be killed. That they were living, just like people, and shouldn't be hurt just because they looked different, or could bite you.

That you should never think about taking the life of anything...and instead think about how you could help them. He suddenly felt a surge of love for his father, and glanced at him proudly as Kenshin returned.

_Tou-san is so smart and kind. When I grow up, I wanna be just like him..._

o-o-o-o

"I have to go!" Kenji blurted out, looking panic-stricken as he stepped back from the men.

Saitou's eyes flickered to meet the boy's. His intense amber gaze seemed to bore right through him. "If it's your friends you want, they're not in their homes. They are waiting for me at the police station. And as soon as I'm finished explaining things to your father, you must accompany me there."

Kenshin remained silent, violet eyes focused on the familiar steel of the sakabatou still in his old rival's hands.

"Saitou-san, please answer my question. Kenji, I want you to stay." There was a hint of warning in his voice.

Saitou noted the boy's reaction. _He looks like he's going to faint_, he observed. _Or make a run for it_. His eyes widened in surprise.

It looked like Kenji had chosen the latter.

"I don't care if you tell him!" the fifteen year old shouted as he took a few more steps backwards. "I won't remember it!" His voice broke as he started to run. "I can't!" His vision blurred, and his arm stung from the exertion, but he didn't care. He just ran.

"Kenji!" His father shouted after him. 'Kenji!' But the boy had disappeared beyond the cherry blossom trees, and into the woods. Kenshin sighed heavily as he put a hand to his forehead. _This is all too much..._

"He is in a fair amount of trouble," Saito said, a touch of sympathy in his voice as he took out another cigarette. "And denial won't help him any." He struck a match and lit up.

"Yamanato's going to be after him."

"Because he killed his men."

Saitou didn't look at all surprised as he took a drag of his precious nicotine.

He blew out smoke. "Yes."

Kenshin shook slightly. Saitou thought he was doing very well, considering.

"I'm going back to the station. That's where he's heading, no doubt." the officer said pointedly, waiting for Kenshin to start moving.

"What if he's decided to run off and head for Kyoto.. to my Master..." Kenshin looked behind him, worry etched into his face. "I should follow after him. He's confused enough to think he can walk there, and he's not well, that he isn't..."

Saitou sighed as he handed him the sakabatou. "I'm positive he's going to find his friends, they are the ones who covered for him after all. You should come with me."

Kenshin stared at his old sword, gripping it so tightly his knuckles were white.

_Hiding the wound...refusing to talk to me about it...running away...not wanting to remember..._

"The boy must have had a reason. He probably had no other way to defend himself and his friends."

Kenshin shook his head as he silently slid the sword through his obi. "It's not that Saitou. I have always had complete faith in Kenji. He has a good heart, and I know that if he killed those robbers, then he had been left with absolutely no other choice. It's not why he did it that hurts me."

Saitou was silent.

_My son...my only son has stained his hands with the blood of men. Kenji.._

"It's what this will do to him. I don't regret the way I raised him, but...I know he will think that I will hold this against him."

Kenshin felt an agonising pain in his chest. "Even if I tell him I understand he was defending himself and the others...My fear is that he won't forgive himself."

When he looked up, there were tears in his eyes. "This isn't something...you can just recover from."

Saitou regarded him for a moment, then awkwardly placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry so much about it. If he's _your_ son, then he's tough enough to deal with this." he said gruffly.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: You know the drill. Rurouni Kenshin aint mine.

**A Son's Guilt: Chapter Six**

_---A few hours earlier---_

The mansion was eerily quiet, thought the lean man clothed completely in black, as he walked across the porch. Not even his own footsteps made a sound. He wished that there was some noise, something other than the thudding of his heart. Not even the cherry blossom trees made a sound as he passed through the garden, nor did he hear the buzzing of bees or the droning of insects. It was as though his environment were doing it on purpose, trying to increase his anxiety.

The man finally came before the shoji screen of the largest room in the heart of the compound. He stood there for a moment, stroking his beard with trembling fingers. He had already been away for too long in the Lord's opinion, and he couldn't postpone his report to him any longer.

Anger rose within him as the image of a red haired boy swam before his vision. The one who had put him in this current predicament! That boy would pay dearly... Kensaku Mori only hoped he would be the one to make sure.

Taking a breath, he slid open the shoji and silently slipped inside.

"My Lord," Kensaku said, voice unsteady as he slowly approached the deep red Western arm chair in the room, behind the large desk, also of Western design. It was ironic. Yamanato hated foreigners, and everything to do with them. Yet he still bought their furniture, and other such things. Sometimes Kensaku wondered why Yamanato was doing this. Why he had left the Oniwabanshu, why he started attacking foreign shops, when he kept foreign things himself. Why he wanted to attack the government...Kensaku couldn't ask, and so he never heard a reason. He knew why _he_ was doing it. He was doing it for the money. Yamanato was filthy rich. So much so, that money seemed to have no worth in his eyes.

"I have urgent news..."

"It can't wait?" said Akura Yamanto lazily, not bothering to turn around as he smoked his pipe.

"I'm afraid not my Lord."

A heavy silence followed. Taking this as his cue to talk, Kensaku swallowed hard and began.

Akura listened, his face betraying no emotion. "I see," he said finally, voice low and dangerous. "So you have failed me, Mori."

He blew out a wisp of smoke and it curled towards the ceiling. That was all Kensaku coud see over the top of the leather armchair.

Kensaku shifted uncomfortably. "My Lord...I apologise. We underestimated him."

"And so you _should_ apologise. Although, to tell the truth, you're all quite dispensible you know. All that really matters is my own reputation. Now they might not take me seriously, if they hear that a mere boy was able to defeat my men. And you know Mori-san, the thought of that makes me feel rather upset. Betrayed, even."

Kensaku's throat felt unbearably dry. Was the man mocking him? He couldn't tell. He never could, with Lord Yamanato.

"How can you say that my Lord? I have tried my best to serve you."

"And I was the one who taught you what you know. I owe you nothing."

"I don't understand."

"No, but I believe you do." said Akura silkily. The leather chair creaked as it slowly turned around.

Kensaku found himself staring into the man's heavily disfigured face. He resisted the urge to both shiver and look away, Yamanto was not wearing his usual mask. So that was what the man looked like with out it...his body was trembling. With a jolt, he realised why.

Kensaku didn't see the hidden pistol, but he heard the unmistakable crack. He crumpled.

Akura snorted at the look on the dead man's face. He tucked his pistol away, the puckered flesh of his face creased with thought.

"The son of Battousai," he murmured, tapping the ash out of his pipe. "This is going to be enjoyable."

o-o-o-o

Kenji looked white. "What am I going to say to him?"

Masaki and Kadoma exchanged glances as they lounged about in the stiff chairs in the police station waiting hall. Kadoma sighed.

"It's not your fault. I'm sure your dad will understand that you had no choice, Kenji. You _had _to kill them. They would have killed us."

"My father will not see it that way." Kenji struggled to keep the emotion out of his voice as he paced in front of them.

_But if it were a spider, or a snake, which can really hurt you, it would be a different story.'_

_'Then you can kill it?'_

_'No, Kenji-chan. Then we try very hard to get it to where it belongs in a way that doesn't hurt us or them.'_

'How do you know?'

'Because I do!' he shouted. He had tears in his eyes now, and was too agitated to hide it.

"He will never look at me the same way again! I have killed people...there's no excuse for what I've done."

Kadoma sighed as he leaned against the wall. 'No excuse eh?'

Kenji's eyes widened. "Kadoma, I didn't mean.."

"Don't worry about it, I don't care," the boy waved him off. "Right now, you need to take care of yourself man. The way you're going, you're gonna make yourself go crazy thinking too much about it. I'm serious Kenji."

But the redhead was not staring at his friend anymore. His breath caught as he stared at the two figures standing in the doorway of the police station. One was tall and thin, and the other...Kenji swallowed.

For a moment he thought he would run again, before he realised there was nowhere to run to. _And I can't keep running...I have to face him sooner or later. I have to face the consequences..._Kenshin slowly walked towards him, and Kenji could see the familiar sheath of the sakabatou glinting in the sunlight streaming through the small windows.

"Otou-san..." Kenji began, his heart thudding and his voice croaky. "I'm..."

Kadoma and Masaki respectfully stood as the two adults came to a stop before them. Saitou ignored them. Kenshin had his eyes on his son.

"Kenji..." he started.

"... sorry." the boy whispered. "I don't know what else to---" He trailed off as Kenshin stepped towards him, the expression on his face unreadable.

_Is he going to...hit me? Is he that angry? Of course he is...How can I even ---_

"I'm so glad."

To Kenji's complete and utter shock, his father reached forward and embraced him.

"Otou-san...?"

"I'm so glad you're alright..."

Bewildered, Kenji just stood there as Kenshin hugged him tightly. He could feel his father's body shaking against him and he blinked."..Otou-san?"

"I could have lost you. God, I'm so glad you're alright..." Kenshin kissed the top of his head. "I'm so glad...my son..."

Kenji found he had nothing to say.

o-o-o-o

The gentle rustling of the cherry blossom trees, together with the gurgling sounds of the brook, made the gardens behind the Tokyo Police station a very peaceful spot. Many families enjoyed going there with their small children, especially for the ease of mind that came with the knowledge that no criminal would be foolish enough to try anything right near the police.

Kenshin himself, had taken Kenji there on several occasions when he was younger.

Sometimes Kaoru would be there, and the three of them would laugh and play with Kenji's ball, and later eat rice cakes under the cool shade of the trees. Sometimes it would just be Kaoru and Kenji, and she would hold his hand as he skipped along, telling him stories about his Uncle Yahiko's youth, and making him laugh. And other times, it would just be father and son, with Kenshin patiently answering his son's many questions while they lay with their backs on the grass, gazing at the clouds in the sky.

Kenji had always felt peaceful and safe when visiting these gardens, but on this day, it was different.

He was tense, he was tired. His arm hurt, and his heart was heavy with guilt. He was also confused. Kenji knew what he had done was wrong, very wrong, yet his father did not seem angry with him at all. Kenshin had embraced him, had said that he thought he would lose him...And the teenager didn't understand at all. Could it be that his father was confused? That he had gotten the wrong idea? That he didn't know that Kenji was the one who killed the men?

He simply could not believe that his father, the man who taught him that all life on Earth was sacred, would embrace him after he, his own son, had gone against that belief.

"I'm sorry for my silence," said Kenshin at last, breaking the unbearable quiet. Unbearable for Kenji, because he couldn't grasp what was happening. And unbearable for Kenshin, because he could feel the weight of Kenji's guilt through his ki, the boy wasn't even hiding it anymore, and it was the most painful thing he had experienced in a long time.

"Kenji, I'm trying to find a way to begin, yet I feel paralysed by guilt."

His son blinked as he stared at his hands. He did not turn to look at his father, who was sitting beside him, gazing at the river. He could not look at him. He had not even spoken to him since Kenshin had hugged him, and then motioned for Kenji to follow him as he made his way to the gardens.

But there was something there, rising within him now. Something he had to say.

"_You_ feel guilty?" The words felt foreign on his tongue.

Kenshin felt relieved as Kenji glanced at him.

"Because I have made a mistake." The man swallowed hard. It was hard for him to say it, but Kenji had to hear it. "I have made a mistake with you."

Kenji closed his eyes. _I'm not even scared anymore, _he thought oddly. He was expecting it, and here it was. He deserved it. After what he had done...

"I'm a mistake," said Kenji emotionlessly. "You're right Otou-san. You deserve a better son, not one who has disgraced you like I have."

Kenshin frowned.

"You misinterpret what I say," he responded quietly. "Kenji, I'm not angry with you. I don't think you are a mistake, no, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And you have not disgraced me. What happened at the bakery upset me deeply, but I am not upset because of you."

Kenji was silent. Kenshin noted, with rising relief, that some of the tension he felt through Kenshin's ki, was lessening.

"I just want you to listen to what I have to say. If you want to ask me questions, you can. But--," the man's voice was hoarse, Kenji had never heard him sound like that before. He briefly thought of his father's words before they had come to the dojo to find the police officer there. Kenshin had said something along the lines of, 'the history of my hands'---and Kenji had not known what he meant. Was he going to explain that now? Kenji found himself wondering.

"--could you ask me your questions after I've finished? Kenji?"

The boy nodded slowly, blue gaze still trained on his hands.

o-o-o-o

When it was all over, when he had finished speaking after what seemed like an agonising eternity for him, Kenshin noted that his voice had not trembled, nor wavered. He had related his story in a quiet, calm voice, and Kenji had not tried to interrupt him once.

He had stared at him though. He was still staring at him, and it tore at Kenshin's heart to read the expression in Kenji's eyes. To see the familiar blue eyes look at him that way.

Kenshin saw disbelief. He saw shock. Fear. Betrayal.

He felt the anger, before he saw it.

Kenji abruptly stood up, backing away from his father as he did so. He raised a trembling finger and pointed at Kenshin. 'You...' His eyes were wild. 'You're not my father!'

Kenshin flinched. He slowly rose, holding his hands out, willing Kenji not to try anything rash. "Kenji, I'm not finished yet, you have to hea---"

"Shut up!" Kenji screamed.

Kenshin snapped his mouth shut, shock etched over his features.

"You're not my father! My father is a man who believes that all life is sacred! He wouldn't even kill a grasshopper! And you're telling me, y-you're the, you're the Battousai!" A gagging sound came from his throat. "You're telling me you're a manslayer from the_ revolution_!"

Kenji gasped, as though he couldn't breathe.

"Son, listen to me!" Kenshin shouted, his voice pained. "That's the _mistake _I made with you! I didn't tell you! I taught you the importance of life, but I didn't..I didn't tell you that not everybody is able to realise it! And that sometimes, when you want to save people, you are forced to kill...I didn't tell you that some people have so much to atone for..." His voice broke, he couldn't go on. He couldn't go on--- and his son hadn't even listened to what he was trying to say.

He watched as Kenji ran from him, not for the first time that day, and he was dazed by a pain he had not felt since Tomoe's death.

And then Kenji was yelling. He was yelling and Kenshin realised that Saitou had grabbed his son, and had struck him.

That he was dragging him along right now, in the direction of the station, without so much as a backwards glance at him. Kenshin felt a gentle hand on his arm, and turned to see another officer standing there, a younger one, who looked as though he had only just started working for the police force.

"Himura-san," the man said urgenly, his eyes never leaving Kenshin's. "You must come to the police station right away sir."

"What is it?" Kenshin whispered.

The grip on his arm tightened. "It's...your wife, Himura-san. She has been attacked."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am merely a blip on the radar screen.

(giggle) Blip! Blip Blip Blip! It really is such a funny word, I've been obsessed with it all week. Um...not that I'm strange or anything. o0

**A Son's Guilt: Chapter Seven**

Kenshin gazed numbly through the window, watching the rain patter against the glass. He observed the water slowly trickle into the window pane. Everything was still, and almost deathly quiet, except for the persistent ticking of an old grandfather clock in the corner of the room. Saitou didn't take his eyes off the clock as he leaned against his desk and smoked a cigarette.

In exactly ten minutes, Yamanato would send one of his lackeys to the police station. A disposable man, with a note for Kenshin.

Yamanato was keen on playing with the Himuras, that much was clear. He enjoyed toying with his victims, playing the cat and mouse game, stretching it out for as long as he could. Saitou planned on using this to his advantage. For now, he had ten men stationed in the front of the building, lest the lackey have a bomb strapped to him, intending to blow up the place. You could never trust a criminal's words.

"I apologise for striking your son," Saitou began finally, the heavy silence beginning to bother him. "If I hadn't, he would have ran straight into a trap." He exhaled smoke, his amber gaze settling on his former enemy. "You know, I can't believe you didn't tell that boy about your past. It's much easier for children to take it, then it is a youth of fifteen."

"I want to see my wife."

Saitou sighed as he straightened, crushing his cigarette into the ashtray on his desk. "I understand. But we can't have you leave the station right now. Police officers have already been dispatched to the hospital, and your other friends are already there with her."

"But_ I _should be there with her..." Kenshin murmured, putting his head in his hands.

He felt so weary, so tired. Even if the police would allow him to see Kaoru, would he really be able to go into that room and face her? He had failed to protect her. He had broken his promise to never let anything happen to her. Something painful lodged itself in his throat. Was he failing as a husband? It already seemed he was failing as a father...Their lives up until now had been so peaceful, so uneventful. Was everything they had now gone? Would anything ever seem normal again?

_Kaoru...I'm sorry._

"You should be thankful she was not that badly hurt. A bullet in the leg is nothing compared to what could have transpired. This was just a warning of things to come."

"Just a warning," Kenshin repeated. He lifted his head and fixated Saitou with a look of disbelief.

"My wife was shot, and that's _just_ a warning?" His voice was cold. "But then, I wouldn't expect you to know how it feels."

Saitou stared at him coollly. "Is that so? And if I told you that my own son is in the hospital, in critical condition, and I can't be at his side because I have a duty to help _your _son, what would you say?"

Kenshin stared at him.

o-o-o-o

_Tick Tock Tick Tock_

"I ran away from Master Hiko. I ran away and joined the Choshu in their fight against the Bakufu. I became their shadow assassin. I was only fourteen, and a fool. I believed that it was right for me to kill the people I did, because in doing so, I was saving the lives of others. But I was blind to the truth."

_Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock_

"I believed I didn't have a choice. But I did."

_Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock_

"I killed Tomoe with my own hands. I killed my own wife."

_Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock_

"She showed me what it meant to be a man, to live. And I swore to her, that once the war was over, I would never use a sword to kill again. I would honour her memory by living the way she would have wanted. And if I had a child...I would teach them the importance of all life. I would make sure they understood, because when I was young, I never did. Only through pain and loss, did I understand. And I didn't want...for you to learn it the hard way."

_Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick---_

"Kenji-kun?"

The boy's gaze was abruptly ripped away from the clock, and settled on the young police officer. The man had a narrow face, and his light brown eyes seemed too close together, but there was a softness to them. He looked kinder than most of the cops Kenji had encountered in his life.

"I am Benjiro Sakaki, in charge of looking after you."

He wondered when the man had come into the room, he hadn't heard anything. They had left him there alone. To think about things. To come to his senses, as Saitou had harshly said to him. It wasn't as though he'd had any choice. They had locked him in there after all.

"Do you want a cup of water, or tea? You must be thirsty."

Kenji cleared his throat. "No thank you," he said quietly.

Benjiro was very relieved to see the boy was not as hysterical as before. Perhaps spending some time by himself had done him good after all. Fujita-san had been right, locking him in there. _But then again_, he thought wryly, _when had Fujita-san ever been wrong?_

"Can I ask you a question sir?"

"Certainly."

"How long are we going to be under the protection of the police?"

Benjiro looked surprised. "For as long as it takes. Until Yamanato is found and arrested. He will stop at nothing to destroy your family, now that he has given himself an excuse. It's unfortunate that you caught his attention, the man is crazy."

"I'm going to have to disagree, sir."

"Disagree? You believe Yamanato is _not_ going to try and destroy your family?"

"Not that, sir. I disagree with the police placing us under their protection."

The officer raised his eyebrows. "Why ? Do you believe you are able to defend yourself without our help?"

Kenji looked up and stared straight into the man's eyes. The intensity of his blue gaze unnerved the officer for a moment.

"Do you know, sir, that my father is the Battousai of legend?"

Benjiro was silent. Then finally, he replied, "Yes."

Kenji shook his head. "I was so stupid. I've been stupid all along." His voice was bitter. "All those times, kids told me my father was Battousai the man slayer. I would tell my Okaa-san, and she would just laugh and say it was nonsense. It was only because Kenshin resembles him, she would say. Not many people have red hair, and that's why they think Battousai's your father..."

"Perhaps if he still had his cross shaped scar, you would have known."

"No. I think I knew all along. I just..." Kenji swallowed, shaking his head again. "I just couldn't believe it. My father didn't seem...the manslayer type." He laughed bitterly. "I mean, it's crazy! He's a guy who likes doing laundry. Whose favourite gi is coloured _pink _for crying out loud. Who couldn't even kill a bug for me."

"Your father is a man to admire. Most of the revolution's man slayers went mad. Others were...unable to control the killers within them, and had to be locked away."

Benjiro's gaze was distant. "Many killed themselves. Your father always believed_ that _to be the coward's way out. He said it was harder to live in this world and to face what you have done. He has helped so many people. He has never stopped atoning. You should be so proud of him."

Kenji stared at him, feeling the weight of the man's words penetrate the fog of hurt and betrayal still wrapped around his brain.

"How... how do you know all this?"

Benjiro smiled. "Because he saved _my _father."

o-o-o-o

The room smelt of medicine and paint, and the whiteness of it all was making Megumi's eyes hurt. It was one of the new wards, the nurse had told her, and so Kaoru was able to have the room all to herself. The doctor didn't see how this would make her friend feel better, the largeness of the room just made it more depressing in her view. She would have preferred to keep Kaoru with her, in her own clinic, but the police had informed her that it was not a good idea. That it would be better for Kaoru to stay in Tokyo Hospital, where two police officers could keep an eye on her just in case.

Megumi's gaze turned from the sleeping Kaoru to the shadows behind the closed door. That was them alright. She wondered how they were able to just stand there, and not say anything.

"Megumi-san?"

The doctor looked at the woman sitting across from her. Her brown hair was cut short, and she looked worried. "Megumi-san, do you want me to get you a drink.."

Megumi shook her head, sweeping her silvery black hair across one shoulder. "No thank you Tsubame, I'm in no mood to drink anything." She smiled slightly. "Besides, I should be the one fetching you a drink, and not the other way around."

Tsubame fondly patted her large stomach. "No, I'm still capable. I don't think he'll be coming out any time soon."

Her friend raised an eyebrow. "On the contrary, I believe _she_ might."

"_Megumi_-san. You might be the doctor, but I'm the mother." Tsubame laughed as she folded her hands in her lap. "And speaking of which, I _am_ in a hospital so I'm not worried..."

Her eyes travelled to Kaoru's still form. The last thing she cared about at a time like this was her own self. Thankfully though, Kaoru's condition had improved over the last hour, there was some colour in her cheeks now, and her breathing was even. _Thank goodness, _Tsubame thought as she squeezed her hand gently. _Thank goodness she's alright..._

Megumi's face tightened. "I should have accompanied her back home," she murmured.

"But you wouldn't have been able to do anything. You would have been hurt as well."

The older woman sighed. "I guess you're right. Who would have been able to predict that bandits would attack the dojo?"

Tsubame shivered. "Nothing's as safe as it used to be...and now, with these men after Kenji..."

"I hope the two of them are alright..." said Megumi slowly, looking towards the tiny window in the room. Kaoru certainly wouldn't like it, there was no view at all. She watched the rain patter gently against the glass, the weather had so abruptly turned dreary.

"They're at the police station, being protected by no other than Hajime Saitou himself. I think they'll be safe."

Megumi shook her head. "No, that's not what I meant. I was talking about their relationship. After what happened..."

"Oh," said Tsubame. The worry in her eyes deepened. "I hope so too."

"Speaking of Saitou..."

The two women looked up as the door gently opened, and a tall man with unruly hair stepped in. He was carrying a tray of tea and rice cakes, his eyes twinkling.

Megumi raised her eyebrows while Tsubame shook her head. "Yahiko..." his wife chided softly. "Don't tell me you're thinking of your stomach at a time like this..."

The broad kenjutsu teacher put on an expression of mock hurt. "Honestly, koishii, did you really believe I wouldn't bring back some food? You've got to have something to eat. And when Kaoru wakes up, I'm sure she'll be angry if we don't have anything for _her_ to eat."

_Well, I managed to make them smile_, thought Yahiko as he handed out the tea and cakes, before settling down in one of the hard hospital chairs. He glanced at Kaoru and his heart wrenched painfully. He remembered finding her unconscious in the dojo, blood staining her kimono, and thinking she had been killed. He was still shaken, though he was trying very hard not to show it.

"You mentioned Saitou," said Megumi, looking puzzled as she bit into a rice cake.

"Right," remembered Yahiko, running a hand through his spiky hair. "It's his son. He's hospitalised in the ward downstairs."

"That's the critical ward..." Megumi's brow furrowed. ''Why were you..?"

"The boy's brother was buying food as well," explained Yahiko. "I thought he might be related to Saitou, he looks so much like him. So we started talking. And surprise, surprise, he's a really nice guy."

"What's his name?" asked Tsubame curiously.

"Tsutomu," answered Yahiko, taking a sip of tea. "He told me how his mother couldn't come to be with his brother today. Apparently she's a dorm mother at that women's school. So he's here in her place."

"That's so sad," murmured Tsubame. "Will the boy be alright?"

Her husband's face looked grim. "He hasn't woken up. He's been in a coma for five days, apparently."

Megumi shook her head. "Saitou must be worried sick," she murmured. "He appears to have a heart of stone, but he's still a father. He must be hurting..."

"Do you know what happened to him?" asked Tsubame, still curious.

"He was stabbed multiple times," Yahiko said curtly. "Apparently, he was eavesdropping on his father's conversations, and went after a criminal by himself, before Saitou could arrive on the scene. He's only about Kenji's age. A very foolish boy."

Tsubame gasped. "I'd say!"

Yahiko rubbed his jaw. "Tsutomu told me the boy was trying to prove himself to Saitou."

He looked towards the window, the rain had finally stopped. His gaze settled on Kaoru once more, he hoped she'd wake up soon, though he knew the thought was a little selfish of him. The doctors said she was going to be fine, that the drugs they gave her were necessary, so that while she slept, her body would focus all it's energy on knitting the wound.

Megumi shook her head. "Fathers and sons," she said softly. "They can be so complicated."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Watsuki.

**A Son's Guilt: Chapter Eight**

At Saitou's words, Kenshin's mind first registered shock, and then a burning shame. In worrying about his family, he had forgotten that he was not the only one with a family. But staring at the man before him, he couldn't help but think that it was all too easy to forget that Saitou had children.

He wondered briefly what it would feel like if Kenji was in hospital, and he couldn't be there with him. He swallowed. Kaoru was in hospital. There was nothing he liked about that, but it was true that she would recover. She was not in a critical condition. And Kenshin knew what that meant. In his days as Battousai, he had learned very quickly, that critical condition meant going to die.

He closed his eyes. He never thought he would empathise with his former enemy. But as a father, he could all too well imagine the pain Saitou was feeling.

"I had no idea." He hesitated. "I'm sorry. I hope he--"

"There is nothing for you to apologise for," interrupted Saitou, looking annoyed. Clearly, receiving sympathy from Kenshin was not something he would welcome, even if it was sincere. "This is my job, and I don't regret being here. It's as simple as that."

Kenshin frowned. "But surely you want to be at your son's side?"

Saitou regarded him as though he were an insect. "And what would be the point of that? He is not going to wake up."

Kenshin stared. How could he say that with such a calm expression on his face? Or had he misjudged him? "You can't be serious." He shook his head. "Didn't you just say that you wanted to be with him?"

"No." Saitou smirked at him. "I was simply placing things into perspective for you. Reminding you that you're not the only one in this world with problems, Himura."

He glanced at the clock, then reached for his sword and slid it through his belt. "A minute left. The lackey should be here soon. You stay right here, until I come for you."

And with that, the man slid open the door and was gone.

o-o-o-o

"He _saved_ your father?" Kenji looked confused. "You mean like, from death?"

"You could say that," Benjiro answered, nodding. "He helped my father to realise his wrongdoings."

"That doesn't make up for him being a murderer though," said Kenji stubbornly. "And keeping it from me."

"Kenji, _my_ father was a murderer who was overcome with his own sense of importance and pride." He shook his head sadly. "Pride is man's true downfall."

Kenji was silent. Emotions were spinning around that he never thought he had. What was this man's point? Was he trying to say that it was alright that Kenshin had been a murderer because he killed without pride? Kenji had been taught by the very same man that it was _wrong_. Unless you're defending yourself...

Kenji thought of the thieves lying dead before him, and felt the nausea all over again.

_It was still wrong. I could have done it a different way, if only I had my sakabatou..._

_You had no choice. _His father's voice echoed in his head, calm and simple. Annoyed, he tuned back to what Benjiro was saying.

"...and he tried _very_ hard to kill your father as well."

Kenji considered that. If the man had tried to kill his dad, the Kenshin could have killed him in self defence. But he didn't, a voice in Kenji's head whispered.

"Your father had a choice, and he chose not to kill him. Some people don't have a choice."

And having no other choice made a difference. It would have been his friends, or the thieves. He was defending their lives. Up until the last moment, he hadn't even thought of himself. His last thought had been them, and how he couldn't let them die. It had been a difficult choice, knowing he would have to kill...but one he could not regret.

Kenji wondered why he didn't realise this before. _Saitou's right_, he found himself thinking, his cheeks turning red.

_I was in shock, and my brain took off. I never thought it would be so hard to kill someone...not the actual killing, but the living with it..._

He looked up to see Benjiro giving him a puzzled look. "Is everything okay?"

"If you don't mind me asking sir...where is your father now? If my dad saved him and everything?"

"In prison." Benjiro gave him an odd, almost apologetic look, though Kenji couldn't figure out what he would apologise to _him_ for. "He will die there."

"So Otou-san didn't really save him," said Kenji, unable to hide the annoyance in his voice. "He got locked away didn't he? He didn't get a second chance."

Benjiro sighed. He bent down in front of Kenji.

"Listen," he said softly. "When I was your age, I used to be a really angry kid. Mad at the world, mad at my father. Even though I said I hated him, I..." He shrugged. "Well, every child wants their father around, don't they? I used to visit him in prison, and it'd make me mad that he was happy. He said he deserved his fate. He said he deserved worse than that."

"You didn't agree with that?"

"Of course I did. Sometimes I wished he had died, that he _had_ killed himself. I used to be mad at Gramps for stopping him from killing himself but---"

"Wait a minute," Kenji interrupted, brow furrowing. "I thought you said my _dad_ saved him?"

Benjiro smiled. "I did."

"But you just said your gramps stopped him from killing himself! His own father stopped him, not mine."

"I'm not very good at telling personal stories, so I'm sorry if I'm confusing you.Let me clear things up. My gramps wasn't really my grandad. He was the guy who raised me, and my dad's former Master, a swordsman. Except when _I_ knew him, he was just an ordinary schoolteacher. When my dad was going after Kenshin, gramps helped stop him. In a way he felt responsible for my dad turning out the way he did. And he stopped him from suicide."

Kenji thought briefly of Hiko. Did he feel guilty for Kenshin? Kenji couldn't picture it. Hiko didn't seem as though he felt guilty for anything, period. For some reason, this made him smile a little. He looked at Benjiro. "So how does my father fit into this?"

"Well, Otousan was taken away by the police. Just because gramps stopped him from killing himself, it didn't mean he saved him. A man's soul is a fragile thing. My dad had committed atrocities. Spending every day alone in a cell, with nothing to do but reflect on that, he would have surely gone mad."

Understanding dawned on Kenji. Benjiro saw it, and smiled. "Exactly. Your father was a regular visitor. He talked to him, helped him. Let him know that I could still be a part of his life. That I still needed him. He saved him from insanity. From _himself_."

Kenji found he had nothing to say. _Tou-san went to all that trouble for a man who he didn't even know? Who tried to kill him?_

"I used to be there sometimes, when your dad was visiting. And we talked too. Me, I was heading towards a life of crime, there was no doubt about it. But your father really made me think about my life. About my dad, who didn't have the opportunity I did." He stood up. "And so I became a police officer. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for your dad, so in a way, he saved me too."

There was a silence. Benjiro's eyes were misty. Kenji looked away, uncomfortable. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked, finally. "It doesn't change how I feel. It's not like, just because my Otou-san helped a few people, it's going to change the fact that he..."

Kenji trailed off. He put his head in his hands.

Benjiro raised an eyebrow. "Kenji-kun? You didn't finish your sentence."

When the teen looked up, the police officer saw shame in his eyes.

"Sakaki-san, I think I owe my father a serious apology."

o-o-o-o

No sooner had Saitou closed the door on his former rival, he looked up to see his son sitting on a chair in the empty waiting room.

His hands were clenched in his lap and he was staring straight at him with those amber eyes, so like his own. And yet, so unlike. Anger coursed through him, and then sharply, fear. But this was not a time to get carried away with petty emotions. He was in the middle of something dangerous, hadn't he told the idiot boy that?

"What are you doing here?" His voice was nothing but displeasure. "I thought I told you to stay away from the station. How many times do I have to repeat myself for it to reach your brain?"

_Or do you plan on ending up dead, like your brother? _

The young man stood, and with a tight jaw, greeted him like his words were nothing out of the ordinary. "Hello, Otousan. It's not as though I would usually break your rules, but I'm here because of a matter that's more important than the _station_. It's Tyoshi."

"Listen boy," Saitou stepped towards him, eyes flashing. "You need to get out of here right now."

His son looked incredulous. "Aren't you going to listen to what I have to say? I mean, for once in your life could you just give me a chance to speak?"

"Thirty seconds!" called out a running police officer. Several others were also running past. Saitou swore under his breath. He grabbed his son by the arm.

"Benjiro!" he called, seeing the familiar face. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

Benjiro turned around, surprised. A sheepish look passed over his face as he ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry sir, I was just giving Kenji some time to think..."

"Forget it! Get back in there and guard him!" He shoved his son towards the officer. "And take this one with you!"

"Kenji?" asked Tsutomu, frowning as Benjiro latched an arm onto him. "Isn't that--"

"come on then!" Before the young man could protest, Benjiro was already ushering him towards the room.

"Saitou sir!"

A skinny young officer, breathless, and looking like he'd never seen this much excitement in his life, came running up to him.

"What is it?"

"It's Yamanato's man!"

"And?"

"And..." the officer looked white. "He just blew himself up! It's horrific! Civilians are panicking!"

It doesn't take much for them to think 'revolution' Saitou thought. Even after all the years that had passed, history still haunted them. "Tell me what he said." He looked irritated. "And calm down. You look like you're going to wet yourself."

The man went red, but he contained himself. "Yes sir, sorry sir. Well, he said that _he_ was the note."

Uninteresting. Saitou already knew Yamanato loved melodrama.

"And?"

"And he said that his boss wasn't targeting the Himura family. What he did to the woman was just a reminder of what he's capable of."

"So what is his objective?"

"He said Yamanato wants a match with the boy."

Saitou raised an eyebrow. "Kenji? Yamanato wants to _fight_ him?"

"Yamanato wants Kenji to know that he will target his friends and family, if he _doesn'_t fight him."

_Everything's a liability in life. _"Well. Get back to work."

"Yes sir!"

As he walked back towards Kenshin's room, Saitou's thoughts were running in two directions. One, he was thinking about the danger to Kenji. Even if he was the son of Battousai, and skilled with a sword, Yamanato was a former ninja. And Kenji had only the reverse blade sword.

The second thought was that this was the perfect opportunity to catch the former spy, who had been giving him a headache lately.

For a brief moment, the face of his comatose son surfaced in his mind, and he wondered what Tsutomu wanted to tell him. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good news. Tyoshi's condition had probably worsened. And he didn't need to think about that right now. He had to focus, he had important work to do.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Watsuki.

**A Son's Guilt: Chapter Nine**

Brother is coming..."

The woman's slender fingers wrapped around the small branch of a bonsai, and she caressed it lovingly. Her slight voice echoed throughout the room, and the plants seemed to rustle with her strange song. It was without tune, and without meaning, at least to those who did not know her.

"Brother is coming... brother is coming..."

She paused, and bent down to stare straight at a tree with brown leaves and a brittle trunk. Her dark eyes turned large and sorrowful. "You're dying," she whispered, stroking the leaves with a thoughtful expression on her face. "You're...you're dying!"

Suddenly, she lashed out at the plant, upsetting it from it's high post, and clumps of soil went everywhere. Giggling, she reached to swipe at the plant next to it, to send that one falling as well, when a strong wrist grabbed hold of her own.

She shrieked, and tried to scratch her attacker, when a hand clapped over her mouth and a familiar voice reached her ears.

"Shika, it's me."

She smiled, relaxing instantly. "Akura!"

Yamanato sighed as he took away his hand and surveyed the fallen plant. "If you didn't like it, you could have just removed it. It would save you the mess."

Shika cocked her head to the side and pouted. "I like making the mess." When he didn't reply, she sidled up to him, and tapped his mask. "Brother, who did you kill today?"

Akura looked down at his sister, at her dead black eyes, the limp greying hair that fell past her face. A claw squeezed his heart then, like it always did when he was in her presence. But he displayed no emotion in his voice. "I didn't kill anyone today." He shrugged, nonchalantly, as if they were still the playmates of their childhood. " I only sent a note."

She giggled happily and clapped her hands together. "But he's dead now! The note is dead!" She laughed some more, this news seemed very funny to her.

"Yes. He is." Yamanato smirked. Though so much of her had been destroyed, her memory was still remarkable.

Shika blinked at him, and smiled. "Are you going to fight soon?"

Akura grinned behind his mask. He couldn't resist. "No Shika. I'm going to kill." he replied clearly, separating each word with a small pause, as though he were talking to a child, and not a woman of twenty one. But he was not being unkind, and Shika took no offence, like always.

"The redhaired boy." she stated solemnly.

"His name is Kenji Himura." Yamanato's voice was hard and cold. As far as he was concerned, the boy was already dead. He had so much confidence in this statement, that he had already moved on to other plans. It was true that the boy was insignficant in the general scheme of things, but his loss would be a hard blow to society, and as for the people's fear...He laughed silently to himself. And cruelly.

Shika's eyes drifted to the plant lying on the floor, and her smile widened. "You're going to make him fall, aren't you brother?"

o-o-o-o

Kenji looked up in surprise when Benjiro entered the room. Hadn't the officer said he was giving him some time to think when he'd left only a few minutes ago? Actually, he felt relieved now that the officer was back. Being all alone was unnerving, because the more his thoughts lingered on the incident, the more his feelings of dread rose.

Now that he had calmed down and acknowledged what a disrespectful idiot he'd been with regards to his father, he couldn't help but be reminded of what Benjiro had said earlier.

"...You believe Yamanato is _not _going to try and destroy your family?"

The more he lingered on this, the colder he felt. Was it really true? Had Kenji endangered his family by his actions? He'd had no choice, and he'd saved the lives of his friends but...would the consequences make him regret such a choice? He thought of his mother, he thought of Kenshin. He found himself also thinking of the Sagara family, of the Myojin family...He clenched his jaw. As long as he was still alive and able to use his sakabatou, no one would lay a finger on his family, no matter who they were.

"Sorry Kenji, for being back so soon, but hopefully you don't mind." Benjiro slid the shoji shut behind him, and suddenly, Kenji realised that he had brought someone with him. He couldn't help but stare at the newcomer, he looked oddly familiar.

"This is Tsutomu," explained Benjiro, noting Kenji's expression. "Officer Fujita's son. They look so alike, don't you think?"

"Yeah," mumbled Kenji, feeling uncomfortable. _Officer Fujita's son..? But what is he doing here?_

Tsutomu's jaw tightened. He gave Benjiro a displeasing look as he sat down on the chair opposite Kenji's, clearly he was not happy about being here. The officer simply grinned in response, and gestured towards Kenji.

"As for this young man..." He laughed heartily. "I"m sure I don't have to state whose son he is!" Benjiro's grin looked like it would split his face. "You know, I've always wanted to do this! Put the two of you in a room and see what would happen!"

Tsotumu rolled his eyes. His gaze flickered to Kenji and back to the young officer. He sighed, and looked both weary and annoyed. "Benjiro,_ what _is going on here? My father won't tell me, as usual, so you can do the honours."

Benjiro shook his head in response, and Kenji wondered if the two knew each other.

"Would you like a drink, Kenji-kun?" the officer asked abruptly.

Kenji shook his head no.

Benjiro turned towards Tsutomu, and offered him a drink as well, which as he expected, was refused. "How is your brother?" he asked softly. "I meant to visit him the other day, but I've been so tied up with work..."

"Just get to the point," said Tsutomu, his eyes betraying nothing. "I asked you to explain the situation so if you don't mind..." He looked at him pointedly.

The officer sighed. Tsutomu was so like his father, you just couldn't induce a conversation with him. "Yamanato's men attacked the bakery Kenji works at." Benjiro looked tired as he massaged his forehead. "He had no choice but to kill them."

Kenji flinched but said nothing. Tsutomu looked at him. "I see."

_Is that pity in his eyes?_ thought Kenji to himself, and he looked down at his hands. He didn't want pity. He wasn't feeling sorry for himself, after all. He had come to terms with what he did...but what now? It was the future that had him apprehensive.

His mother had already been hurt... Was he really strong enough to protect his family?

"One of the men however, escaped and sent word to Yamanato. Consequently...Yamanato has targeted his family. His mother has been shot and is in hospital."

"Kaoru Himura," said Tsutomu suddenly.

"Yes, how did you know?" asked Benjiro, surprised.

"I met her friend at the hospital." Tsotumu replied, his face expressionless.

An urgent knock on the screen interrupted them before Benjiro could ask the question he wanted. "Excuse me," said the officer, then quickly exited the room.

There was the sound of hurried whispering behind the screen, and Kenji strained to hear what was being said, but could catch nothing. He sighed, and tapped his fingers against the sides of the chair, all this waiting was only making him more anxious.

He glanced at Tsutomu, who was staring at him again. He looked away, flustered.

"How old are you?" Tsotumu asked, oblivious to Kenji's discomfort.

"Fifteen," Kenji replied. He glanced urgently towards the door again, the voices were louder now, and sounded angry. What was going on? Had something happened to his father? The queasy feeling in his stomach made him feel like he was sick. Or was it his mother?

Tsutomu grinned wolfishly. If he sensed how worried Kenji was, he didn't show it. "You don't look fifteen." He took out a cigarette pack and offered to Kenji.

The boy shook his head. "No thanks."

"You're the same age as my little brother." Tsutomu struck a match and lit his cigarette. He took a puff, then blew out smoke and looked at the redhead critically. "You know, for you're sake I hope you're not as foolish. Yamanato will kill you instantly if you are. Or worse, put you in a coma like he did Tyoshi."

Intense amber locked with shocked blue, and neither broke the gaze.

Kenji was about to open his mouth and ask what Tsutomu was talking about, when the screen slid open again and Benjiro came back in, looking grim.

"Kenji-kun...I'm afraid I have some bad news."

o-o-o-o

"Bad news?" asked Kenshin. He paused, looking tired. "Kaoru is alright, isn't she?"

For some reason, he was reminded of the Boshin war. In the middle of fighting, sometimes a man would see his comrade shot, or wounded. Amidst the struggle, he would persistently ask if his friend was okay, and the reply would always be, the friend was only injured. They had seen the friend being carried away..and it seemed like he would recover. Only afterwards, would the man be told that his comrade had in fact died. Kenshin didn't know why this memory had come to him, but it tensed him all the same.

"Your wife is fine," Saitou answered, sitting behind his desk with a sigh. "Himura, it's your son. In simple words, Yamanato is going to kill him."

Kenshin's jaw tightened, but his eyes remained calm. He had been expecting something along those lines. "Is that what he said?"

"No. He said he wants to fight him. But basically, that's what it means." Saitou struck a match and lit his cigarette, taking a long soothing drag.

Kenshin's eyes narrowed. "If he wants to fight someone, then he can fight me."

"Not part of his deal," said Saitou calmly. "Either Kenji fights him alone, or Yamanato hurts his friends and family." He shook his head and laughed. "Honestly, Himura. You think that it's as easy as picking up your sword again? You're not invincible, and you're certainly not as young as you were. It would be useless for you to try and involve yourself."

Kenshin ignored his comment and asked, "When does Yamanto want to fight him?"

"In three days."

Kenshin sagged. "I can't allow this. That's not enough time...Kenji is strong, but..."

"Not strong _enough_." Saitou finished. "Himura, this fight is inevitable, and it will happen. The only thing you should be concerned with from this moment onwards, is making sure Kenji will be prepared."

His former enemy stared at him. Disbelieving violet locked with grim amber, and neither broke the gaze.

"Are you asking me to prepare my son for death?" Kenshin's voice was a hollow whisper.

Saitou's eyes bore straight through him. "I don't know, am I?"


End file.
